Gifts for a CTO who has everything ...

How does one convey to a CTO who has everything that nmap has
side effects?

Sorry - I didn't expect it to be running for such a long time. I apologize
for any consternation it may have caused. I ran it because I couldn't get
into the system "larceny" that night. I thought that a map of our network
might help me find it.

After having run the nmap on a smaller subnet, I decided to re-run it on
the larger address space to provide documentation about our network.

Seriously. Does life get any better than this?